I received a phone call from an employee -- one that I dread. My employee respectfully informed me that he had been courted by a competitor and was offered a position. I was on the verge of doing what I usually do in situations where a competitor is trying to lure away a valued employee...start finding ways to make the problem go away. You know...pull out the stops and make a counter offer.
Well, this time was different. I had just completed my coaching training and had actually had to miss the last session because of business travel. So the training, the trainer, and my colleagues were on my mind. In a split second I asked myself what would my colleagues suggest in this situation. One question that I had been reminded to ask in the last session by our instructor came to mind -- "what do you want?" I think in the split second I thought of that question, I also answered it for myself. I reminded myself to remain curious and not respond before I truly knew what this employee wanted.
It turned out to be a great conversation with a great outcome. I am convinced that prior to my coaching training the call would have been very different -- more stressful and more action oriented on my part. This conversation allowed the employee to articulate what he wanted and how he wanted to move forward. It allowed the employee to stay focused on the intrinsic (I>E>S) and own the direction of future actions. It also allowed me to get excited about a well thought out plan. As we move forward, there will be some limitations on our design and implementation based on system rules. But, we will able to continue down a path of creative, complete and capable thinking because of the structure of our first conversation.
Paige Berger, MS, CHES, Sr. Vice President Sales & Marketing, ScriptSave, America's Premier Prescription Discount Program, Tucson, Arizona
The concept of speaking succinctly is a significant shift for someone like me used to telling people what to do and figuring out the solution, due to being in a management position and also being recognized as an expert in my areas of responsibility. Anyone who has been in a management position can probably relate to talking a lot and figuring out what needs to be done, and feeling as though that’s what you’re supposed to do. The concept of speaking succinctly puts the focus on identifying what you want to say and saying it in a very short manner -- then to stop speaking. I have utilized this concept, and I have discovered that when I am quiet, it is truly beneficial to the coachee, since it provides a space for the coachee to get their thoughts together. It’s a pretty significant shift in management style and I have found that the more I have utilized this concept, the more comfortable I feel. I was actually told a couple days ago by a person who works for me that I seem more peaceful. She said, I don’t know what you have done in the last few months, but you seem to be much more at peace. With this shift, you’re still valuable and you haven’t lost anything as far as your expertise goes but it’s not as dominating and directive. I have discovered that the Intrinsic Coaching™ model has allowed me to have an increased peacefulness, and at the same time, have additional skills to assist people with discovering how they can figure out things on their own, versus me providing their solutions.
With Intrinsic Coaching® I have learned that coaching does not aggressively challenge or confront an employee, however, a coach does need to address the truth of the situation, as best as they can. As a coachee, one must accept responsibility for their own situations and account for what is going on.
Recently, I had an opportunity to use this learning with an employee who had been struggling to maintain her various responsibilities. This employee was feeling a little bit like a failure and not reaching all of her goals and objectives, but couldn't put her finger on what the real issue was. The Intrinsic Coaching™ methodology provided a way to have a forward moving conversation. I was able to share with the employee that she was getting in her own way, with all of the responsibilities she had accepted, and that perhaps the best solution to the situation was to redefine her areas of responsibility.
In coach training, I learned that when someone isn’t answering a question you asked, there’s a tendency to think that the question isn’t effective and so you try to ask another question or try to help the employee answer the question you asked. In remembering that, and creating the room for the employee to focus and think, what I thought was going to be silence turned into this employee figuring things out in a way that was like fire works going off.
I went into this particular conversation thinking, "This is going to be tough because I’m taking away a responsibility of this employee’s job," but by using the Intrinsic Coaching™ model it was a great experience for both of us and I saw how effective this coaching model can be. It enabled a high performaning employee see their own situation and account for what was really going on, in a very positive manner and with enthusiasm going forward.